I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
