no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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