I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
