So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
