he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
