I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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