You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Randomize
