didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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