Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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