I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
they're like a gay fantastic four
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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