his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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