I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
