I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
