Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I believe in your delicious
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Randomize
