I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
