Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
