Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
