I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
