Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
