No awkward lesbian experiences without me
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
