she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
