The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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