You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
