Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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