I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
