sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
