i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
