Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
We talked him into tasing himself.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Randomize
