No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
