and she was petting her beer can
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
