and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
