He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
