He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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