Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
