I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
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