Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
