In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Randomize
