So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
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