I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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