i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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