he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
