i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
