My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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