it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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