party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
