D3 body, D1 cock
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Randomize
