we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Randomize
