i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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