So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Randomize