my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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