So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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