so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
