so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
