at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
