I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
It's blow job season.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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