There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
