He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
