In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
