Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
