The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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