Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
