his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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